It's clearly been a while and the reason for that would be I decided I'm not good at this at all. I never know what to say, and reading about "my day" isn't that fun. haha I'm also talking to myself since I have no followers AT ALL. I guess this is just like a journal for me or somethin. I honestly kind of hate it, it's just showing me how much I really can't come up with anything creative to write about. I've written one poem in my life (it was written 3 weeks ago by the way) and it really isn't that good AT ALL.
I guess I should just state:
I miss people, a lot of people actually.
I have reeeally good friend and always have but there are of course those people I've lost contact with or I'm not as close with or maybe never got to know as much as I wanted to. There are also people I choose to "deal with" because I don't want ANY drama, they would be considered REALLY dramatic people that most people (unless also dramatic) would not want to associate with. So, do you want to know why I stick around for some people? It's because I can't lose friends. I believe it is THE WORST feeling in the world to lose a friend. NO MATTER what they've done to you or do to you, it still hurts to realize maybe you really aren't friends. As well as it's hard for me to trust people with how many times and the ways I've been hurt so when I lose someone I THOUGHT I could trust it sucks to have to realize the truth (you can no longer trust your "friend"). I recently had a "losing of a friend" that I'm not really sure about. Not sure how to help him or how I can tell him that I need to know I can be his friend. I feel he needs someone and I like to be there for him. :/ I've completely lost a friend previously in my life and it was THE WORST EXPERIENCE of my life so far... :/ Even though it's clear they don't want or deserve me in their life, it still hurts to know I can't even say Happy Birthday to them without getting an angry message back.
I recently (last night) hung out with an old friend. It was the best to see her, and realize we still are really good friends. As well as I know we can still be close and I can still trust her with a lot. ^_^
I would also like to state:
The fact of: Cara Jolley is a sucker for love. a good boyfriend, a true relationship. Now I've never been in love honestly buut I love finding something real to have. Someone to hold my hand, smile at, stare at, cuddle with, give big hugs to, talk to, joke with, kiss passionately, love unconditionally... etc. ^_^ I think I need something like that. (blah, blah, blah, blah...) Well I'm not really sure what else to say.
This has yet again been a pointless post besides helping me let my feelings out(:
thanks to anyone who actually reads this.
simply a ginger.
simple a bean.
♥ginger bean
