In case anyone was wondering or didn't know... I moved to Orem, Utah. I currently live with my sister and three other roommates.
This was the best decision that I finally made for me. I am surrounded by people who understand me, people who care, people who help. These people are wonderful. At times I feel overwhelmed with all of the wonderfully righteous people I've been placed with. This decision has been so good for me. I've strengthened old relationships and made new ones. I've been able to spend time with people I truly enjoy being around, people who make the time spent worth while. I feel as if everything will soon fall into place as it should and when it should.
I love my job here in Orem(:
I love each and every one of my roommates as well as friends♥
I love being with all these pure and warm-hearted people.
I love this place!
Sunday, October 16, 2011
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Trust☼
Trust... This is very valuable to me, very sacred to me. If you want to "get to know me better" you better prove that I can trust you whole-heartedly. If you ruin something like that between a person I feel it only fair that you must earn it back to prove you want it. There is also NO way you could possibly find a place in my heart to stay without gaining such trust. But if that is the case, I must tell you: it will be a lot more work, a lot more effort, a lot more caring, a lot more conversation, a lot more sincerity, a lot more understanding, a lot more listening, a lot more common sense, just all around a lot more difficult. There is also this other problem... I tend to fall in love very easily. It also seems to happen before someone has gained my full trust. It is a fact when I say I follow my heart but I don't leave my mind far behind. I think a lot, I worry a lot, I care a lot, I wonder a lot, I want a lot, I need a lot, I wander a lot, I can't seem to get my mind to stop... This problem has come to drive me almost insane, bonkers, wacky, crazy, looney, etc. No one seems to understand me... for the past while I have felt let down or "betrayed" by a lot of people. I got sick of people and truly,honestly,whole-heartedly... I put my trust in two people. I didn't save much room for anyone else and now the problem is... those two people have proven themselves to be a let down and untrustworthy.
Which brings me to this: Why? Even after how much I need trust in a relationship do I miss those people that hurt me without even looking back?
I will tell you something that hurts the most beyond all belief for me...
Loss of a friend, Whether the friend has wronged me or we have simply gone our seperate ways, I can't handle it. It's something I've realized for a little while now but I don't know what it is with me... I CANNOT lose people that mean or have meant so much to me at any part of my life. “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.”
You see all those walls built up? I know that if that one person were to reach back out and say something... I would tear down my walls myself and the only way they'd have to earn back even half my trust is choose to walk right up to me and simply give me a hug and say, "Everything will work out fine. Everything will be okay."
I keep my head up for other people right now. I do it for me but not even a third as much as I do it for others. I know people want to believe i'm okay, they want to believe that i'm doing alright, that i'm happy. So I give them that... just so I won't let down yet another person...
Fact is... If you've heard me tell you what's REALLY wrong, if you've seen me cry, if you've seen me at my worst, if you've handled me at my most ridiculous... You know me more than a lot of people ever will.
...emotional rant over.
thank you.
i love you.
MyOwnBreed-Cara
Which brings me to this: Why? Even after how much I need trust in a relationship do I miss those people that hurt me without even looking back?
I will tell you something that hurts the most beyond all belief for me...
Loss of a friend, Whether the friend has wronged me or we have simply gone our seperate ways, I can't handle it. It's something I've realized for a little while now but I don't know what it is with me... I CANNOT lose people that mean or have meant so much to me at any part of my life. “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.”
You see all those walls built up? I know that if that one person were to reach back out and say something... I would tear down my walls myself and the only way they'd have to earn back even half my trust is choose to walk right up to me and simply give me a hug and say, "Everything will work out fine. Everything will be okay."
I keep my head up for other people right now. I do it for me but not even a third as much as I do it for others. I know people want to believe i'm okay, they want to believe that i'm doing alright, that i'm happy. So I give them that... just so I won't let down yet another person...
Fact is... If you've heard me tell you what's REALLY wrong, if you've seen me cry, if you've seen me at my worst, if you've handled me at my most ridiculous... You know me more than a lot of people ever will.
...emotional rant over.
thank you.
i love you.
MyOwnBreed-Cara
Sunday, May 22, 2011
It's just time to let go...
There are people who can walk away from you.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.
Let them go.
And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over and you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s over.
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…LET IT GO!!! If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you …LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge…LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better…LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves…LET IT GO!!! If you’re feeling depressed and stressed…LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need to…LET IT GO!!!
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Sincerely, I have standards.
I would like to educate a handful of men in this world that think they can say and do whatever they want and just get away with it every single time.
Okay, so maybe at times it had seemed you had simply "gotten away with it..." wrong. That girl just whispered to her friend directly after your "comment" that you're a creep.
Another thing... not EVERYONE in this world has given away their "V card" and are just ever so willing to give it up again. Asking for some "sexy pictures" could be considered sexual harassment. I am not your girlfriend, your significant other, your fiance, or your wife so take a hint and go find a girl who's willing to "put out" for you and will "give you what you need" because trust me I have much better things to do with a relationship then give you your sexual desires. I have class. I have potential for something bigger than you've ever even dreamed of being. Don't worry I'm sure my future husband will let you know what you missed out on later.
Angry rant over.
Thanks(:
Okay, so maybe at times it had seemed you had simply "gotten away with it..." wrong. That girl just whispered to her friend directly after your "comment" that you're a creep.
Another thing... not EVERYONE in this world has given away their "V card" and are just ever so willing to give it up again. Asking for some "sexy pictures" could be considered sexual harassment. I am not your girlfriend, your significant other, your fiance, or your wife so take a hint and go find a girl who's willing to "put out" for you and will "give you what you need" because trust me I have much better things to do with a relationship then give you your sexual desires. I have class. I have potential for something bigger than you've ever even dreamed of being. Don't worry I'm sure my future husband will let you know what you missed out on later.
Angry rant over.
Thanks(:
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Listen(read)
You need to realize what you say could have an effect on anyone.
A lot of people pretend to be strong and okay throughout highschool. Look beyond the doors of their home, inside their bedroom you could find a gun, a razorblade, a rope, drugs, or a knife. As of lately I've noticed how rude people in this world have become.
First to those of you who have wanted so badly to rid themselves from the world:
Remember those memories, whether it be with friends or family, the memories when you felt the happiest. If you fire that gun, tie that rope, run that knife, or take those drugs... you'll be ruining someone elses happiness. You mean something to someone, to many people in fact. Your pain will only worsen. You are supposed to contribute to the world and become a role model for people. What do you think happens to the kids you have or will have? Your kids won't have a father/mother and those others will never be born. You're meant for something and someone important. You can't give up on yourself because of what he/she said or did. You are not insignificat. Find yourself, be yourself, and find those that need help.
Second to those of you who simply love to hurt the ones that are "different:"
Learn some common courtesy. Think would I want someone to be saying this about me? Remember "The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." We were fed that rule all through kindergarden and above and yet no one seems to understand what it means. Whether people are short or tall, fat or skinny, pretty or ugly... You have no room to talk about what they look like. You will only become what you've insulted. NO ONE deserves to be insulted, there is ABSOLUTELY no person in this world that is ugly. Everyone was made to look different for a reason, just because they don't look like you doesn't mean they're "ugly."
A lot of people pretend to be strong and okay throughout highschool. Look beyond the doors of their home, inside their bedroom you could find a gun, a razorblade, a rope, drugs, or a knife. As of lately I've noticed how rude people in this world have become.
First to those of you who have wanted so badly to rid themselves from the world:
Remember those memories, whether it be with friends or family, the memories when you felt the happiest. If you fire that gun, tie that rope, run that knife, or take those drugs... you'll be ruining someone elses happiness. You mean something to someone, to many people in fact. Your pain will only worsen. You are supposed to contribute to the world and become a role model for people. What do you think happens to the kids you have or will have? Your kids won't have a father/mother and those others will never be born. You're meant for something and someone important. You can't give up on yourself because of what he/she said or did. You are not insignificat. Find yourself, be yourself, and find those that need help.
Second to those of you who simply love to hurt the ones that are "different:"
Learn some common courtesy. Think would I want someone to be saying this about me? Remember "The Golden Rule: Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." We were fed that rule all through kindergarden and above and yet no one seems to understand what it means. Whether people are short or tall, fat or skinny, pretty or ugly... You have no room to talk about what they look like. You will only become what you've insulted. NO ONE deserves to be insulted, there is ABSOLUTELY no person in this world that is ugly. Everyone was made to look different for a reason, just because they don't look like you doesn't mean they're "ugly."
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