Listen.

Please, help me understand why it’s okay for someone to talk so much bad about someone and the things they choose to do. I really don’t get it. I’m not saying I have never talked bad about someone, because we all have. But when it comes to the decisions they have made, just because for some reason you think they shouldn’t, it’s disgusting to hear what you have to say when it comes to that. If someone wants to date a certain person even if things are ‘complicated’, let them; And if someone wants to have sex in that relationship, it’s none of your business. If someone decides they want to drink in their free time, shut the hell up and leave them be. If someone wants to get a tattoo, piercing, or crazy haircut why is it your place to tell them not to or “advise” them otherwise? It’s not any of your damn business. Get that through your head.

Just think about it...

Don't you dare say you've never done this! I am not going to deny I haven't done it myself. But here it is. Why do we gossip? I'm not talking friendly gossip of good news, or simply what's going on in someone's life(although it should be there place to tell someone, if that person doesn't know maybe they shouldn't know things about someone's life that isn't yours). I'm talking of the evil, deceitful, rumoring, horrendous gossip. The minute that someone walks out of a room it seems to be okay to just talk freely about them. Now I know no one is perfect and we have all done this to an extent. But some people think it's just okay to do this, never feels regret or remorse, never even feels the littlest bit guilty for the things they say that ruins the idea someone has of that person. Why can't we just figure out on our own what someone is like, how they act, and how they treat the friends they have and make. Let us make our own decisions on who we want to be around, or even who we ENJOY being around. It shouldn't be up to you to make that decision for us. Do you even realize that those things will soon reach that person, the feelings that will result are heart wrenching at times. I just don't get it. Now, like I said I have done this before but not to the extent I've seen it performed. Literally, people could be in the next room and they simply don't care what they say about them, as long as they're out of their line of sight. A little bit ago, someone was speaking of a person in my building and it was mentioned that a few of us thought that they were dating or would make a cute couple when each of us had first moved in. Instead of simply saying no, we've never dated, or I just don't like him like that. It turned into, "Ew, that would never happen. I have much better options open than something like that." In response I simply stated, "Well that's not very nice." Their reply, "No, you don't understand. We have a history. They're just gross and scary and need to get a hold of themselves and not be so creepy." Of course that response went on to say more things about this person that were awful. Everyone has their opinion about certain people, whether it be a good or bad one from which ever experiences you've had with said person. But I just don't get it anymore. What makes it okay for you to say things like that about a person? What is it that makes you think the things you say are somehow justified because, "you've had a history" with this person? Do you realize how much easier this thing called life would be if we all just would only mention the good we see in people or just keep our mouths shut? "If you can't say something nice, don't say nothing at all."

You, by yourself.

There are things in our lives that no one else will ever seem to understand. That shouldn't bother you, life is just giving you a chance to figure things out by yourself.
1: It doesn't mean you go find another relationship to fill in the holes, it won't work. I don't get the world sometimes. How can someone so easily give up on one person and move on to a complete stranger? I've come to terms that searching for something won't get me anywhere. It'll be given to me when I actually need it.
2: Stop thinking you're going to get things handed to you. Everyone has had to work for what they really want in life. Why is it that our generation seems to think that no one has done work for the things they have?
3: Now I understand we are all placed in different families, which results in different lives. I know that I was lucky to be placed in the righteous yet easygoing family that I have. If I hadn't had the family I do, I would either be dead or locked up in my basement. haha But instead of complain at how much of a horrible life you have. Change it. Get off your ass, get a job, move out, meet new people, start new. Also, learn to have a better attitude about things. If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude.

Learn to grow, there is nothing wrong with dealing with things on your own. But also, know when it's time to let people in to help you.

2012 is looking good(:

Although Christmas was a very sad holiday on my end, as well as New Years... because I spent both working and almost every one of my roommates were gone. The new year didn't look so promising. It started out a little slow, with nothing but good yet bad memories to think of, nothing but broken promises and a broken heart. But suddenly things started to really look up for my life.
I work at both Chrysalis and Eaton Alliance. I work with disabled individuals and love everything about it. Yes, there are times that are difficult and very frustrating but I wouldn't trade my job for any waitress/cook/cashier/retail/etc job in the world. I also just received the Assistant Manager/Lead Staff job at Eaton Alliance! I'm super excited to have this the experience and hang out with the amazing people I get to be around everyday(:

Starting new..

In case anyone was wondering or didn't know... I moved to Orem, Utah. I currently live with my sister and three other roommates.
This was the best decision that I finally made for me. I am surrounded by people who understand me, people who care, people who help. These people are wonderful. At times I feel overwhelmed with all of the wonderfully righteous people I've been placed with. This decision has been so good for me. I've strengthened old relationships and made new ones. I've been able to spend time with people I truly enjoy being around, people who make the time spent worth while. I feel as if everything will soon fall into place as it should and when it should.
I love my job here in Orem(:
I love each and every one of my roommates as well as friends♥
I love being with all these pure and warm-hearted people.
I love this place!

Trust☼

Trust... This is very valuable to me, very sacred to me. If you want to "get to know me better" you better prove that I can trust you whole-heartedly. If you ruin something like that between a person I feel it only fair that you must earn it back to prove you want it. There is also NO way you could possibly find a place in my heart to stay without gaining such trust. But if that is the case, I must tell you: it will be a lot more work, a lot more effort, a lot more caring, a lot more conversation, a lot more sincerity, a lot more understanding, a lot more listening, a lot more common sense, just all around a lot more difficult. There is also this other problem... I tend to fall in love very easily. It also seems to happen before someone has gained my full trust. It is a fact when I say I follow my heart but I don't leave my mind far behind. I think a lot, I worry a lot, I care a lot, I wonder a lot, I want a lot, I need a lot, I wander a lot, I can't seem to get my mind to stop... This problem has come to drive me almost insane, bonkers, wacky, crazy, looney, etc. No one seems to understand me... for the past while I have felt let down or "betrayed" by a lot of people. I got sick of people and truly,honestly,whole-heartedly... I put my trust in two people. I didn't save much room for anyone else and now the problem is... those two people have proven themselves to be a let down and untrustworthy.
Which brings me to this: Why? Even after how much I need trust in a relationship do I miss those people that hurt me without even looking back?
I will tell you something that hurts the most beyond all belief for me...
Loss of a friend, Whether the friend has wronged me or we have simply gone our seperate ways, I can't handle it. It's something I've realized for a little while now but I don't know what it is with me... I CANNOT lose people that mean or have meant so much to me at any part of my life. “People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone.”
You see all those walls built up? I know that if that one person were to reach back out and say something... I would tear down my walls myself and the only way they'd have to earn back even half my trust is choose to walk right up to me and simply give me a hug and say, "Everything will work out fine. Everything will be okay."
I keep my head up for other people right now. I do it for me but not even a third as much as I do it for others. I know people want to believe i'm okay, they want to believe that i'm doing alright, that i'm happy. So I give them that... just so I won't let down yet another person...
Fact is... If you've heard me tell you what's REALLY wrong, if you've seen me cry, if you've seen me at my worst, if you've handled me at my most ridiculous... You know me more than a lot of people ever will.
...emotional rant over.
thank you.
i love you.
MyOwnBreed-Cara

It's just time to let go...

There are people who can walk away from you.
People leave you because they are not joined to you. And if they are not joined to you, you can’t make them stay.
Let them go.

And it doesn’t mean that they are a bad person it just means that their part in the story is over and you’ve got to know when people’s part in your story is over so that you don’t keep trying to raise the dead. You’ve got to know when it’s dead.
You’ve got to know when it’s over.
If you are holding on to something that doesn’t belong to you and was never intended for your life, then you need to... LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to past hurts and pains…LET IT GO!!! If someone can’t treat you right, love you back, and see your worth…LET IT GO!!! If someone has angered you …LET IT GO!!! If you are holding on to some thoughts of evil and revenge…LET IT GO!!! If you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction...LET IT GO!!! If you have a bad attitude...LET IT GO!!! If you keep judging others to make yourself feel better…LET IT GO!!! If you are struggling with the healing of a broken relationship…LET IT GO!!! If you keep trying to help someone who won’t even try to help themselves…LET IT GO!!! If you’re feeling depressed and stressed…LET IT GO!!!
If there is a particular situation that you are so used to handling yourself and God is saying “take your hands off of it,” then you need to…LET IT GO!!!